Mother vs Woman

In many conversations among women, the phrase “ if you don`t have kids, you don`t get to talk about parenthood“ is very common. I don`t really agree with that and I don`t even think that it is entirely true. I think that many people who are not parents, but rather child psychologists, teachers, babysitters, etc. can have a complete and utterly correct picture of what it is to raise a child and the difficulties and the whole craziness of being a parent, and especially a mom. For that reason, this text is addressed to all mothers out there that sometimes even without even realizing it they have lost their true self and who they used to be and are consumed by their children. I know that possibly I will hear thousands of bad comments, but I just want to stress out a different view. You don`t have to take it for granted that it is correct, but even for one minute you can think first what is that I am saying and then you can decide if I am completely wrong. You see, I have friends that have kids, and I am also a godmother, which is something that I love. I adore that kid more than anything in the world, and on the other hand I see my friend which has become a great mother without stop being the person that I met years ago, which is something that I admire. It is ok to grow up, and change your beliefs, and not end up drunk every night, but it is not ok to lose yourself, because you had a child. Suddenly, many women, when they become mothers, they have no friends anymore, no husband, no job, no dreams, and no nothing; and I cannot, but wondered: How is this ok, just because you became a parent? All those things were the ones that made you who you are. Your friends were always there for you, by your side at your bad and good times, and now you don`t even have half an hour to call them or one hour for a coffee? Your husband was the one who made you always feeling better, and laugh, and made you feel beautiful and safe, but now he doesn`t even deserve a nice comment or a huge hug, because you are always too busy with the baby. I do get it, that your child is probably the only person that you will love more than your life, you will be ready to die before you let anything happens to him/her, but please remember, that before your child, there were other people as well that you felt that way about, and honestly some of them feel the same way about you even now that you have forgotten about them. However, even if you don`t want to talk to any of them anymore by choice, you can also think about your own self. I bet that motherhood is your first and absolute priority, but don`t forget that you are also so much more than only a mom. Didn`t you have big dreams, ambitions or hopes about yourself, about your career? If not, then you just stop reading, and please go and take care of your beloved baby, but if you had, try to remember them again one by one and at some point during your busy day, dedicate even five minutes to start making them come true, because at the end of the day, you owe it to the woman you used to be.

 

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